skyzophrenic? (hell i dont know how to spell it)

my host mum just told me that it pissed her off that i dont speak at all at home. she asked me if i realized that she didnt speak to me these past 2 days. okay, honestly i didnt. these past four days i was too busy finishing Angels and Demons and Da Vinci Code. but, bref, that’s not the problem.

so this was today’s dialogue, translated in english.
Hostmum: See, you dont speak at all!
Adelia: Umm, yeah (not sure what to respond)
H: Do you realize that i didnt talk to you these 2 days? It wasnt comfortable for you, right?
A: Yeah.. (i hardly realized that she was doing that actually)
H: And so i am, you didnt talk at all at home. that brings problem to the family! It’s not funny anymore (Hey who told you that it’s a joke?) You told me that you seldom speak with your parents too, but it’s okay with them. But not with me here. Now it’s too late. And I know that you really wanna go home now, but that’s because of you!
A: Yeah (still dont know what to say)

I dont know. i really dont know.
She was right about going home, i want it, but not bcos i’m having bad times here. Nope. I do really have great times with my FRIENDS. Okay, i admit it, i’m not close with my hostfam. seriously not. i dont know, until know i dont feel like a part of family. they said that i dont wanna talk at all with them. but hell, what should i talk about with them? My break-up with my two year bf and then 2 weeks later he already got a new gf? of course not! Seriously i had no idea what to do. My friends keep telling me to talk and spare times with hostfam. But how can i do that if i’m not comfortable with them, especially with my hostmum! Damn. I dont know. I’m having great times outside, in school, but i hate being at home. I’m okay with my hostdad, i can talk to him, he’s way better than my hostmum idk why. But well, if i cant solve this problem, i only have 53 days left anyway. Life sucks in this home.


3 thoughts on “skyzophrenic? (hell i dont know how to spell it)

  1. adell…masalah lo ampir sama kayak masalah gue dsini…
    emg gue juga harus ada rasa nyaman dulu sebelum gue bisa ngebuka diri, dan setaun ini kayaknya gue nggak pernah ngedapetin rasa nyaman itu sama hostparents gue. Setiap kali gue nyoba (sok heboh cerita”), respon mereka pasti nggak sama kayak yang gue expect.

    Tapi del, walaupun nggak bisa terbuka sm mereka, minimal lo paling bantu” di dapur atau spend time watching DVD brg mereka (itu yang gue lakuin). Menurut gue, itu udh yang paling minimal bgt yang bisa gue lakuin di rumah..



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