my host mum just told me that it pissed her off that i dont speak at all at home. she asked me if i realized that she didnt speak to me these past 2 days. okay, honestly i didnt. these past four days i was too busy finishing Angels and Demons and Da Vinci Code. but, bref, that’s not the problem.
so this was today’s dialogue, translated in english.
Hostmum: See, you dont speak at all!
Adelia: Umm, yeah (not sure what to respond)
H: Do you realize that i didnt talk to you these 2 days? It wasnt comfortable for you, right?
A: Yeah.. (i hardly realized that she was doing that actually)
H: And so i am, you didnt talk at all at home. that brings problem to the family! It’s not funny anymore (Hey who told you that it’s a joke?) You told me that you seldom speak with your parents too, but it’s okay with them. But not with me here. Now it’s too late. And I know that you really wanna go home now, but that’s because of you!
A: Yeah (still dont know what to say)
I dont know. i really dont know.
She was right about going home, i want it, but not bcos i’m having bad times here. Nope. I do really have great times with my FRIENDS. Okay, i admit it, i’m not close with my hostfam. seriously not. i dont know, until know i dont feel like a part of family. they said that i dont wanna talk at all with them. but hell, what should i talk about with them? My break-up with my two year bf and then 2 weeks later he already got a new gf? of course not! Seriously i had no idea what to do. My friends keep telling me to talk and spare times with hostfam. But how can i do that if i’m not comfortable with them, especially with my hostmum! Damn. I dont know. I’m having great times outside, in school, but i hate being at home. I’m okay with my hostdad, i can talk to him, he’s way better than my hostmum idk why. But well, if i cant solve this problem, i only have 53 days left anyway. Life sucks in this home.