i was just wondering……

is it really wrong that i’m not like others?
is it really wrong…

that i dont have the perfect body image like most of my friends do?
that i think a pet owner who seriously loves his/her pet is kinda idiot?
that i believe in love at first sight?
that i still believe Paris is a city of love?
that i read lots of chick lits and crap novels?
that i’ve played piano since forever and still cant play any chopin?
that i think that you cant build a relationship and even more marriage just from the L word?
that i still think maybe i’ll end up with my first kiddie love someday?
that i take almost an hour before leaving home to choose my outfits?
that i dont care about the side effects of technology, like the cancer from laptop’s radiation?
that i dont give a shit about eating healthy and bio, and how some food will bring you cancer?
that i still want to live an american highschool year, eventhough it’s just impossible?
that i think the hardest part of my exchange year was to get rid of my feeling about that guy?
that i ridiculously really really wanna be San Chai and find a Dao Mind Shi?
that i am honestly still not sure which major to take next year?
that i can feel blank, not feeling happy nor sad for like many times?
that i can eat much then feel guilty but cant find a way to vomit?
that now i think i cant differ whether a food is delicious or not, as long as it’s salty i eat them?
that i secretly have a low self esteem?
that i can really have a bad mood all day just because someone telling me little things that i dont like?
that i seriously hate seniors telling you what to do?
that i still cant speak french clearly to my hostfam?
that i hate thinking about grammars while talking?
that after all these months in france i still often talk in english?
that i still dont like being in another family’s home which doesnt feel like my own home where i can wake up at 2 am and go to toilet without having fear of waking others up or making the dog bark?
that i hate intense sunshine, and i hate when people tell me that i must like the sun strike?
that i dont even bother to try any ski activity even though maybe i’ll never get another chance?
that i think i’ve improved my english here and i feel like i’m having an exchange year in english speaking country instead of french?
that i still cant be close to my hostfam?
that i hate afs weekends because i feel so left out when everybody seems to be goodfriends?
that i have to search for a good topic to talk about with my hostfam?
that i often think that people dont appreciate me?

is it really wrong that i’m tired of following advices and not being me?

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