… I realized that not every dreams could come true.
As much as we want things, not all we want are tangible. either it’s us, or the circumstances that don’t let us. me? i have to let go some of my big dreams. maybe being nineteen gives me a new impression of life, reality and also acceptance of nonavailability. i have to say goodbye to that silly dream of having a cool American high school year, to the target of graduating from YPM (yes, as much as i hated it, i still want that diploma.), to the dream of Harvard Law School (or is it still possible?), to the dream of being skinny and tall (now!), to the dream of being a cool doctor like Meredith Grey, and many more.
but then again, you cant always have what you want.
i should be thankful, i got what i need. i got a great exchange year, ive fulfilled the passion of going to Paris and seeing Eiffel before my twenties (and by my effort!), ive gotten into University of Indonesia, majoring Communication (even though im not really sure what to do), my fam is in a good condition, i have good friends, i think people do like me, so, well, im happy.
But, still, a girl has her dreams. Lots of dreams. Graduating from college in less than 3 years, straight 4 GPAs, maybe a place in SMU next year?, be famous-really famous, get a show in Nat Geo or discovery, get slim and tall, and else and else.
Many things in mind. Yes, being nineteen, few months left before hitting twenty, i finally know what i want. now the thing is just how to make that happen. big job, adelia, big job. so world, here comes the not so little girl! 🙂