Back in March and April, I went through a stupid depression. Well you know, the feeling that nothing goes right, that you cant do anything at all to fix your gloomy mood, and the loneliness even though you do have friends around you. I was just back from an amazing semester and I came back to a boring one in Depok; the lessons in here were not interesting at all; I faced a rejection from a program; and above all, I felt that skipping a semester finally took its toll: I was no longer one of the top notch in class – I didn’t even understand how to compose a research proposal while the other kids already did a complete research.
That was a bad time. I cried from time to time over small things, even things that didnt make sense like not being able to get a cake for a friend’s birthday on time. I knew i needed help, but going to a shrink was not an option.
One day, I stumbled upon Diana Rikasari’s blog and found her notes on listing the simple things to be grateful for as a reminder that there’s always something to be thankful for. And so I made one myself.
And boy did it work.
I started my monthly gratitude list in April and I’m still making it until now. I list the small good things to the big ones on my agenda and by the end of the month, the blank page is full of happiness. Looking at the list of good things makes me realize that life isn’t as bad as it seems; that there are still things to be grateful for, even in the worst times. And that, my friends, has successfully brought me out of the stupid depression. I am a much happier person, I can think clearer, and I’m back to living in the bright side.
Moreover, making the list also brings me hope of what I want to write on next month’s list. Having hopes, targets, and dreams is exciting, and excitement is exactly what we (or at least, I) need to get by, day by day.
Make yourself one, and feel the difference it brings.