Letters to July: Ending Ramadan

July 14, 2015.

“You know what the hardest part about Ramadan is?

It’s not the long hours of fasting, or the attempts of memorising the Quran, the standing in Tarawee prayer or even staying up for Qiyaam.

The hardest part is realising that we are our biggest enemy. Acknowledging that our nafs are stronger than we think. Even though he is locked up, he has managed to leave pockets of influence all over us. It’s a very tough and bitter pill to swallow, to know that when we slip in temper, our impatience, our laziness in ibadah, is not because of waswasa, but rather it’s own self and the evil that has built with us.”

Yes, indeed. This is the revelation of this Ramadan. I can’t believe it’s gonna be over soon and I haven’t even used it at all. But at the very least, I’ve learned my lesson this Ramadan, about finding myself, letting go, patience, and trusting God to take the wheel even during times when I’m so mad at Him.

“Sabar dan ikhlas, itu Islam,” said Fedi Nuril in one of my favourite movie Ayat-Ayat Cinta. I guess he’s right, but then again, easier said than done.

Time is fleeting and Ramadan is ending. All I hope that the next time Ramadan comes around, I’ll already be a better person and will have already fulfilled the promises I set for myself.

Thank you, Ramadan, for what you’ve become and for what you’ve taught. You’ll be sorely missed.

With love,

A.

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