Letters to July: I want the world

July 15, 2015

Dear July,

Lately I’ve been thinking that maybe denial is somehow a good thing. You can forget what you’re going through right now and focus on the future, focus on the hope that the future might bring. That maybe, skipping the present and clinging to the hope for a better tomorrow is a temporary medication to the restless mind.

Someone once told me to stop worrying about the future and seize the present, but what if the present is the source of your unsettling thoughts at night? Should we escape from it?

Escaping the reality is what I do best, my dear July. There are so many things I want to do in life and thinking about those things is somehow relieving, but at the same time, I’m nervous to think that maybe those things will never come true.

I want the world, dear July! Let me tell you some of it. I want to…

Perfect a recipe for a perfect brownie,

Slow dance in the night,

Author a book,

Kiss in the rain,

Get a PhD,

Have a Billy Joel public karaoke session,

Watch Blink 182 / MCR concert for the sake of adolescence memories,

Go for a Parisian day trip, this time sans heartache,

Walk down the memory lane at Thonon, not alone,

Master a game besides Pacman,

Watch all Star Wars and Star Trek series,

Finish reading the Quran,

Visit San Diego Comic Con,

Find a partner to play Mozart’s Sonata in D,

Play Chopin’s Nocturne in C#,

Spend the night on the border of a sea, river, or lake,

Go for a picnic date in the park or pine woods,

Play one flawless song on a Steinway,

Have someone dedicatedly singing my all time favourite song.

Dear July, is it too much to ask?

But then again, I think I still have to be grateful for the items i’ve accomplished and scratched from my bucket list. I should be thankful for the chance to watch my childhood favourite sport Formula One live, to listen to my favourite song She Will Be Loved live, to study in Singapore with no more hard feelings, to return to Mecca and Medina with a purpose, to experience what it is like to fall in love at the first sight, to enter a pageant, and even to finally forgive that ex (and looking well composed and all poised when meeting him #YASS!!).

So, tell me, dear July. Is it too much to ask?

With love,

A.

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