July 15, 2015
I know it’s late and I’ve sent my letter for you today. But I’m weary and I just need to spill my thoughts. I still have things to do tonight but the brain is just not wanting to work that hard tonight and the chest is as heavy as it could be.
I know I could just doze away and escape, but there’s something about tonight that makes me want to stay up until the wee hours. Is the promised night happening tonight? I don’t know, I guess I have to wait until the sun rises.
July, do you know that nostalgia is harmful? I remember telling someone that looking back and seeing how far you’ve come is sometimes necessary to feel grateful with what we have right now, but then, sometimes looking back gives you a glimpse of reality, that somehow, your world revolves around the same thing, the same people, only in different phases.
My Timehop today shows what happened in the past three consecutive years. It’s weird, the things I wrote and posted back then somehow are what I’m having in mind today for similar situation but different setting. The past is a funny thing to bump into, don’t you think?
“This is one of the cases where not expecting anything to happen is the only way to stay happy,” I wrote in another post of 2013. If only I can do the time warp and go see that version of me, I’d hug her real tight and I know that she’ll say the usual mantra, “Ca va aller, ca va aller. You’ll be alright.”
I don’t know what’s happening, dear July. Well, I thought I knew. Or, is it true that we never really know what is happening? That, I don’t know.