I’ve never thought that i could be THIS huge…
Oops, not a proper sentence to start a postive post. Okay let me start over again.
I’ve never thought that i could go to France before my twenties, let alone LIVING in France, but now, I’m here, aren’t I? I’ve made it.
I’ve never thought i could survive stranded in the middle of nowhere, where I hadnt known anybody, where people speak alien language, but well, I’m here and i speak their language, right?
I’ve never thought i could be friend with good people here, let alone having bestfriends, but now, I’m surrounded with such nice and sweet people, and I do have bestfriends, like the ones i have back home.
I’ve never thought i’d be strong enough to step away from my previous relationship, that i couldnt bear any thought being alone, that i’m such a vulnerable person. But well, here I am, stronger than before, laughing at the silly girl i became, and thanking God for all of this. I’ve made it through, i even can laugh over things!
I’ve always thought that I’m alone, that I couldnt be extrovert enough to tell anybody my stories or problems, but then I was wrong, right? I do have many people to talk to, to trust, and who’d love to help me. And here I am, much more open to other people. I’ve made it.
I’ve never thought that i could speak English, let alone speaking French. I was that girl who had brilliant written grammar score but sucked at oral. But well, now I’m not that pathetic anymore, i can stand talking and blabbering in English, and I know that I’m getting better in French. I guess I’ve made it.
I’ve never had a good dose of self esteem and confidence, trust me. I had been so insecure and never felt good enough, almost of the time. But now, i feel a slight-no, make it big- change inside of me, i know i’m good enough for almost all things, as long as i can put trust in God and myself. I’ve made it.
I’ve never thought i could write so much, but here I am, trying to count how many post, crap notes, and other things i’ve put on my blogs. And how wonderful it is, there some people telling me some of my writings are good and thoughtful (well, sometimes, i mean the good serious normal ones, not my crappy shitty whiny thingy).
I’ve passed those selections back home, I’ve passed my worst and most vulnerable moments, I’ve passed my lonely times, I’ve passed the crap times here, I’ve passed those wonderful moments here, I’ve passed those crying and shitty moments, I’ve passed the language barrier, I’ve passed many things, the bests and the worsts. And I’m still standing still. I’ve made it.
Maybe afterall, I’m no longer that Adelia i used to be. Maybe I’ve changed, i dont know. But after all what I’ve been through, my 4th year in highschool couldnt be any worse or any harder, could it? I’ve made this big year through. It wasnt easy, i told you, especially for the naff and witty and spoiled brat like me. But thank God, I’ve made it through. Now, maybe afterall, going back home and starting (or continuing) my life, wont be a hard pain, n’est-ce pas?
I’ll make through my senior year successfully, graduate with great scores, get a super university (maybe scholarship too? i hope!), mingle and love 2010, lost these bloody kilos, get some jobs, and else. Wish me luck! I’m trying to be positive!
votre fille preferèe.